Avatar: The Last Airbender

The old war, a new generation. With the defeat of Avatar Aang, and of Ozai\'s airfleet, each nation is left vunerable. A new avatar has been born into the water tribes, and must restore balance to the world before it is engulfed in chaos.
 
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 Hayato Honoo [Done]

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Hayato Honoo
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Number of posts : 3
Registration date : 2011-12-17

PostSubject: Hayato Honoo [Done]   Sat Dec 17, 2011 8:30 pm

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Basic Information~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Name: Hayato Honoo

Alias (optional): Haya

Gender: Male

Age: 18

Bending Power: Fire

Allegiances: Fire (Wanderer)

Family Members(Optional): N/A

Birth Date(Optional): 08/24

Extra Information: Fire Bending Master, Lightning Bending, and Flying.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Appearance~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Appearance: Hayato has black hair and green eyes with a soft face. He usually wears this outfit:

Height: 5'11

Weight: 150lbs

Body Type: Lean and Toned

Extra Feature: N/A

Voice: He has a soft, calming voice.

Extra Clothing/Gear:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Persona~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Personality: Hayato is a very nice person who seems very serious looking when he is actually care free. He is only serious in certain aspects of his life. Hayato is usually smiling but when he gets into a fight he doesn't smile unless it is an easy fight. Hayato is nice but he is no pushover, he just has a peaceful aura that makes him easy to like by people. He is also considered a genius. Hayato can be quiet and only gives respect he believes deserve it. When he meets new people, he tries to befriends with them depending on the aura he feels from them.

Likes: Tea, The Arts [The Arts would be visual arts (drawing, painting, conceptual art, architecture), literary arts (history, literature, myths, etc), and the performing arts (music, dance, theater). Once someone appreciates the arts, they can appreciate the world around them and allowing yourself to be encompassed by the arts allows you more creativity than you could imagine], Peace, Sweet Food, Spicy Food, Humor and Combat

Dislikes: War, Vengeance, Senseless Killing, People who are too serious, and Evil

Goals: For the world to be in total peace, he will do anything to achieve that.

Fears: For the world to be ruled by corruption and evil.

Strength: Fire Bending Master, Intense Fire, Martial Arts Master, and Intellect

Weakness: Compassion: This gets in the ways of his combat because he could never kill a child, nor kill an innocent human being. Lack of Attention: It isn't intentional, but sometimes during a conversation, Hayato will sometimes admire the clouds or stargaze. Lack of Judgement: Sometimes will judge a combatant depending on their size or age and this could have dire effects, as he may hold back or go full out.

Extra Information: Despite his lean appearance, he has World Class Athlete speed, strength, and reactions because of intense training beginning at the tender age of 1. He is also a master of japanese and chinese kung-fu.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~History~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

History: Hayato was born to one of the richest fire bending nobles of all the land. Hayato was born to a family of some of the most famous fire benders. His ancestors were some of the greatest, they were students of the dragons and passed on their skills and techniques to the following generations. Hayato was an only child and glad of it as he had many friends. Hayato started training by time he could walk. Hayato learned many types of fighting and bending styles.

As Hayato reached the age of 9, he was an excellent fire bender and fighter, he was almost as good as his father. He trained night and day with the most intense training. But at this age, many of his family's rivals attacked their home and destroyed it and everthing with it except their money, which he kept in the bank, and their weapons. His mother and father died trying to fight off the attackers but there were too many of them and died. Hayato watched them die and ran away to his grandfather's, who was an even better fighter and fire bender than his father. They assumed he was dead.

As Hayato stayed with his grandfather, he was taught and mastered most styles of fighting and firebending. Hayato trained night and day with even more intense training. A month after his 15th birthday, his grandfather died. He was completely saddened and buried him in his family's graveyard.

Hayato lives alone and has his family's bank information. The bank holds riches that can sustain someone for 3 lives. Though he has went through alot, he is still jolly and happy like he was when he was a child. He doesn't look for vengeance, just peace.


Last edited by Hayato Honoo on Sun Dec 18, 2011 12:01 pm; edited 5 times in total
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Naraca
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Number of posts : 116
Age : 24
Location : Nope...It's just Chuck Testa
Registration date : 2011-05-30

PostSubject: Re: Hayato Honoo [Done]   Sun Dec 18, 2011 5:17 am

With all due respect, being an up and coming staff member I would like to evaluate this app. Mattias you can still have the final say but I would like to assist this guy with his app.

Alright, here we go.

First thing that caught my eye was this

"Likes: Tea, The Arts, Peace, and Combat"

Okay, The Arts? That could mean anything, please give a bit more of an explanation as to what you mean by that.

Also, add a couple more likes and dislikes, these things you've pointed out could be said for most character's on here and thus is too vague and says nothing about you character except for that he's another typical "Hero" type. Is there anything special about him? Something unique that separates him from other goody-goodies?
So add a couple more Like's and Dislikes and you'll be good.

Now, there's also this

"Weakness: Compassion"

Same thing as the Like's and Dislikes, this is too vague, it covers a lot of possible situations, one's that your character may not feel they need to compassionate in for whatever reason. Also, the fact that this is his only weakness makes him a little too over powered.
You saying that he is a perfect fighter in every way, shape and form? There's nothing that could go wrong?
What if a child was put in front of him? Would he still attack with the intent to kill his enemy?
We don't allow perfect fighter's on here, give him another weakness or two, or further explain what you mean by his Compassion being a weakness.

Now here is the biggest problem about this app

"Extra Information: Despite his lean appearance, he has
superhuman speed, strength
, and reactions because of intense training
beginning at the tender age of 1. He is also a master of japanese and
chinese kung-fu."

Okay, now right away I will tell you that Super humans, or super human ability's like these are NOT allowed at all.
No matter how intense training someone would get, they would never exceed human capability, only go to the very limit of what humans can do.
True, people can bend the elements here, but that's it, they are all in no way super strong, super fast, or have super human reaction time. Based on what you've said here, you character can lift up a fire nation ship, run as fast as bullet, while having the reaction time to dodge bullets, and keep doing this for a very long time.
That might not be what you intended when you said super human ability's, but once again with the lack of detail, how do we know that you don't mean that? Either way, super human ability's are not allowed.
You can be very strong, very fast and have honed reflexes as well as great martial arts but you can't exceed human capability's.
So remove the part about having super human ability's or edit to fit something more human.

Make these changes, and you may very well have yourself a solid, approve-worthy app.
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Hayato Honoo
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PostSubject: Re: Hayato Honoo [Done]   Sun Dec 18, 2011 7:09 am

Edited.
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Naraca
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Number of posts : 116
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Location : Nope...It's just Chuck Testa
Registration date : 2011-05-30

PostSubject: Re: Hayato Honoo [Done]   Sun Dec 18, 2011 8:11 am

Looks good as far as I can see. I think it's ready for approval but we will see what Mattias has to say.
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Hayato Honoo
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Number of posts : 3
Registration date : 2011-12-17

PostSubject: Re: Hayato Honoo [Done]   Mon Dec 19, 2011 6:59 pm

Completion bump.
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Aestuo
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Number of posts : 160
Registration date : 2010-10-17

PostSubject: Re: Hayato Honoo [Done]   Tue Dec 20, 2011 9:42 pm

Looks good, Approved.

Request to join the Fire Nation group, too.
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